A Little Update About Life

Hey! It’s been way too long right? I KNOW! Want to know what’s up? Follow along. It could get long.

Since the Kamloops IRS recovery of 215 students who didn’t make it home, I’ve been on a journey. That news uncovered in me, a whole lot of trauma and mental health issues. I was thrust in to rage and hate but also sadness and deep pain. It brought forth all the what ifs and what could have beens had my parents not attended or had they not made it home. I wouldn’t be here if they didn’t but also how different my life might have been had they not been forced to attend IRS.

So with that news, I was forced in to a journey I didn’t plan on taking but here I am. Still. Thankfully. It’s been hard, painful and exhausting but more and more I find the bits of peace I long for. I’m not getting any younger and this healing journey always astounds me, it never ends. There is always something.

Fast forward to these last few weeks. I’ve been decluttering our home like a mad woman. Why? I realized that all the clutter impacted my peace and caused me overwhelm and a sense of chaos. A lot of my life has been chaos, so that really takes a toll at this point of my journey, so the more structure and order I have, the more at peace I feel.

Since unloading 5+ boxes of stuff at the local thrift store and making some money on the items I sold, I have counter space! I don’t have a junk bin on the counter any more! I wake up feeling relieved and rejuvenated. It’s the best feeling ever. I woke up this morning thinking, “Man, I love waking up to a clear and clean space – clutter-free space!” It’s the best thing I’ve done for myself in this journey to date. I don’t feel so overwhelmed by STUFF when I come in to our home. I’m not annoyed and disgusted by the things we have in our space. (Don’t get me wrong, there’s always room for improvement! Yes, I’m that girl!) I have to thank The Minimalists for their podcast and Netflix shows for the inspiration. They speak my language and I love the concept so much. They’re my super heroes!

Hmm, what else? I’ve been super elated to see so many others decluttering their lives too! They’ve commented thank-yous and updates with me and it brings me great joy to see others unloading all the dead weight. That’s what clutter is – it’s dead weight, negative energy. Who wants that? NOT ME. Keep moving forward, friends. We got this!

With that, thank you for joining me here. That wasn’t too long after all. I will be cleaning up (ahem, decluttering) my social media and digital life so I hope to write more here so I hope you come back. I have much to be thankful for today, we all do, we just have to take a look around, then get up and get on with it. Cheers!

R

Your Choice, Your Problem

So, I was worried I’d have nothing to write about tonight since I stayed home and worked on the NDK newsletter all day and didn’t really do anything worthy of talking about but then I forgot I have teens and shit hits the fan sometimes, like just now. Surely, writing about my personal stuff that includes my family is one thing but talking about their specifics is not really fair but then I remembered life isn’t fair, so fuck it. If it happens, I’m writing about it. All in the lessons, kids.

Lately and more so now that my teenagers are growing up and gaining their independence, it’s been a bit of a struggle to be a sane and “nice” Mom. History has shown that I am always the bad guy, it’s a shitty job but as the saying goes, someone has to do it. May as well be the one who doesn’t fuck around, even if it means, my kids hate me some days. So be it. Do I love my kids? Abso-fucking-lutely! If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be almost losing my mind most days and certainly wouldn’t be writing this.

I asked three, maybe even four, times for 16 to clean up the bathroom and entry way, and it didn’t get done after the third or fourth and final time, so there was some yelling exchanged when I got home from a cruise with Dad. Every teenager knows once it gets to that stage, they risk losing privileges, and what do you know?! The cell was in hand, which seems to be a theme every day these days, so away went the cell phone and that ended the argument with the two parties going their separate ways. Two slamming doors followed. Mind you, it is important to remember that said “bad guy” pays for said cell phone which is a privilege and not a right. Right? Right.

Now what? Well, I’m laying here writing this, and keeping my distance. It’s the smart thing to do. I refuse to acknowledge disrespectful and entitled behavior. When we choose the behavior, we choose the consequences. Done deal. Don’t want to do chores, no cell. Don’t want to go to school, no cell. We are all responsible for our own choices so long as we accept the consequences. I shouldn’t have to ask 3-4 times to do your part around the house. We all live here. Let’s all do our part. What will kids do when they have no adults around to do everything for them? Surely, they will learn real quick won’t they? I can only hope since I know some people (not mentioning any names) can’t live without a cell phone.

Anyway, yeah, so that’s my post for today. Life is tough but I’m tougher. Shit, I’m the parent of two teenagers. What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger. I’m pretty sure I got balls of steel by now. Lol.

GOOD NIGHT.

Just when you think it’s bedtime, you get a call about 17. Great.

Is it a full moon by chance? Ugh.

Renee

Celebrate Every Day

Today marks my husband’s eighth year of sobriety. It has gotten much easier but it hasn’t always been so. We struggled through a lot of shit to get to today. We made it here together.

I remind him often how much I love him, how thankful we are for him, and how grateful we are for this life we have. The one thing we don’t do as a couple is celebrate our successes enough, though. The little successes matter just as much as the big ones.

Like tonight, just so happened we got tickets to Green River Revival, a CCR Tribute Band, and so we invited family to come along and we had a good time, with lots of laughs and loud tunes. I don’t remember the last time him and I went out anywhere together, gussied up and had fun with other adults. Made me realize how important it is to celebrate more often, no matter the occasion, just celebrate. Celebrate our lives, happiness and health. That ought to be enough, to celebrate every day.

Back in the day, we’d get drunk and high to celebrate and celebrate getting drunk and high, it was a lose-lose situation. Now, we can enjoy the good times without drugs or alcohol and remember the whole night. YES! I don’t miss those old days. We have a really good life and I am happy to celebrate that, every day. We deserve it.

I love you, my Lomens. I love this life with you. I’m grateful every day that Creator gifted me with the three of you.Good night.

Renee

It’s a Talk Show Life

Have you ever wanted to call Dr. Phil on your family? No? Me neither.

Actually, I’ve thought about it more than once. Honestly. Anyone else? What would you say? What is the one big issue you’d want help with? Parental issues, sibling rivalry, midlife crisis, unhappy marriage, love triangle, unruly kid, mooching adult kids? There’s a lot we all could choose from I’m sure.

IMG_8639

 

If you contacted the show, do you think your family would participate? There’s a lot to consider. Would work let you take the time off? Would you forget to turn the coffee maker off? Would your life be worse off than before? What would you wear? Do you think calling the show would result in your family being even more pissed off at your or at each other? What will Jane or John do when Dr. Phil surprises them with mandatory treatment? Flip out and tell the camera guy to fuck off or decide to go but decide they hate your guts and are never going to speak to you again? Imagine that scene!

Isn’t it funny to think of the reality of all that happening? What if you got a call tomorrow from a Dr. Phil producer to be on the show? Or better yet, Jerry Springer? We all know Jerry Springer is going to result in some missing hair and/or water to the face. Let’s pray none of us ever land on Jerry Springer.

IMG_8636

Ok, enough of that, I better get to bed. I had myself some laughs. I hope you did too. Let the scenario play out in your mind with the members of your family. It’s actually pretty comical.

Good night.

 

Renee

IMG_8637