Late night thoughts…
I’m missing my dad and a life I dreamt of as a young girl but never had.
Dreams of a home with 2 healthy parents, happy and together. Not together in the “tolerating you” kind of way but the genuine loving kind of way. A lot of my life I’ve witnessed people just existing and tolerating one another, instead of fully and completely loving their partner. Maybe that doesn’t exist, maybe it’s only fantasy.
Maybe my childhood dreams don’t exist but in my imagination where it’s safe to have those thoughts.
Somewhere along this life of mine, I was made to believe this is all there is. Accept what’s given to you, accept what is. I have to accept I won’t have my happy, healthy family and that my dreams were only fantasies that likely won’t come true.
No matter the outcome, a girl can wish, even if only in her heart and head. The pain of reality still stings my broken heart. Of what is and what may never be.